The Meaning of Hospitality in Russia
“Кто ходит в гости по утрам, тот поступает мудро...” (He who goes on a visit in the morning, act wisely...) sings a silly little bear in a popular children’s cartoon. In reality, however, lunch or dinner is the best time to visit a Russian home. Russians love having guests and try to welcome them as warmly as possible: they entertain them generously, treat them to plenty of food and drink, and often insist that close friends stay overnight.
There are many Russian proverbs and sayings about hospitality that reflect the history and traditions of the people.
“Гость в дом, бог в нем” (A guest in the house brings God with him, meaning happiness).
“Гости во двор, ворота на запор” (When guests are in the courtyard, the gate should be locked, meaning they should be kept longer).
“Гостей напоил, накормил, спать уложил” (Guests must be given something to drink, fed, and put to bed).
“Что за обед, когда гостя нет” (What kind of dinner is it without a guest?).
“Умей у людей погостить и к себе пригласить” (Know how to be a guest and how to receive guests).
“Без соли, без хлеба худая беседа” (Without salt and bread, there can be no proper conversation).
Food, Drink, and the Host’s Generosity
Russians enjoy entertaining and are happy to prepare a wide variety of appetisers, salads, and soups—because without soup, lunch is not really lunch. For dinner, meat, poultry, or fish is usually served with various side dishes. Every housewife has her own special recipes. At the end of the meal, tea is traditionally served. Coffee is usually drunk in the morning, so offering it to guests later in the day is uncommon. Many housewives bake their own cakes and pies, remembering the saying: “Пироги на столе - уваженье гостю” (Pies on the table show respect for the guest).
It is considered impolite to refuse food or drinks offered by the hostess, as this may offend her. After all, she has cooked the meal, planned the menu, waited for her guests, and tried her best to surprise and delight them. The best compliment for a hostess is when a guest asks for the recipe of one of her dishes.
Table Etiquette and Social Traditions
Russians generally do not like buffets, nor do they enjoy long conversations before sitting down at the table or during an aperitif. When receiving guests, they prefer to invite everyone straight to the table. If someone happens to be late, they may be required to drink a “penalty glass” of wine or vodka.
Russians drink quite a lot and always with pleasure. Each drink is accompanied by a toast, followed by the clinking of glasses. In ancient times, clinking glasses and pouring a few drops of one’s drink into another person’s glass symbolised respect and trust that the beverage contained no poison.
Invitations, Gifts, and Saying Goodbye
Invitations are rarely made more than a week in advance. Written invitations are usually sent only for weddings. For informal gatherings, a phone call or a verbal invitation when meeting is sufficient.
It is not a good idea to arrive somewhere without being invited as “Незваный гость - хуже татарина” (an uninvited guest is worse than a Tatar, meaning than Tatars were enemies of the Russian people). “Незваные гости гложут кости” (Uninvited guests gnaw the bones, to them no food would be served).
Guests never come empty-handed. For birthdays or weddings, a gift is obligatory. Otherwise, it is customary to bring flowers for the hostess, sweets for the children, and a bottle of wine for the host, which is usually placed on the table immediately.
Russians like to sit at the table for a long time and talk heart to heart about everything. However, talking about the weather is considered bad manners. Instead, they enjoy discussing culture and literature, children, life at the dacha, work, personal problems, politics and the economy, travel, and holidays.
Yet everyone remembers the saying: “В гостях хорошо, а дома лучше” (It's good to be a guest, but it's better at home). Eventually, guests leave one by one, taking with them a piece of cake and the memory of a pleasant time spent together.
Елена Буланова
